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 Author / Subject  Post  Date / Time 
Erica
honor a deceased loved one
Hi 5 months ago my dad whom I was extremely close to passed away at the young age of 42. I am looking for a very special yet unique idea as to how to honor him at my future wedding! Any suggestions would be of great help because i am not sure what to do when one of the most important people that are supposed to be at the wedding are not going to be there thenk you. I am 22yrs old if that helps with the ideas and he was my best friend. Oh yeah what about the father daughter dance??? 01 Jan 2007 06:38
Eva
suggestions...
Hi Erica,

First let me start by saying how sorry I am for your loss. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. But its wonderful that you are intending to honor your dad at your wedding in order to make him a part of your day, and to serve as a reminder that his spirit is there with you. For starters, you'll want to mention his name on your wedding invitation (example: Erica, daughter of Mrs.__________and the late Mr.________ ). You might want to include a framed photo of him at the guest sign-in table at the reception to honor him and keep him remembered on the bid day. Mention him in your after-dinner speech (if you intend to make one). Make an "In Memory of" notation in your wedding ceremony program (towards the end) and include a brief one or two line verse about how athough he is no longer here in physical form, his presence remains with you, or something equally appropriate. If he passed away of a particular cause, you might want to make a donation in each of your guests names to support the cause instead of giving away traditional wedding favors. Give each guest a printed piece of paper that says, "In Memory of ______________, a donation has been made to the American Heart Association in your name". (There is whole article about this concept here: http://www.superweddings.com/article-kindness_wedding_trend.html )

In terms of the father-daughter dance, keep in mind that not every bride has this. Today, there are plenty of brides out there who didnt grow up with fathers in their lives, for one reason or another, so they simply eliminate the daughter-father dance. But if you prefer, if you have someone (older brother, favorite uncle, godfather, etc) who you feel is worthy of stepping into your dads shoes on his behalf for the dance, you could ask them to do the honors, and just have the MC or DJ make mention of this when it is time for the dance, which again, will help keep your dad's memory alive. Hope this helps.

Eva
01 Jan 2007 23:39
Ger
in honor of
I have been struggling with this also. My FH's parents have both passed away...and while I don't want our wedding to seem like a funeral..I want to honor them in some way. Thanks for any help you can be.

Ger
09 Jan 2007 19:33
eva
honoring deceased loved ones at the wedding
It is a lovely idea to remember and honor those who have passed. I know what you mean about not wanting it to seem like a funeral. I think that if you put the right amount of thought into it, you can walk that fine line that allows you to keep the day joyful while remembering those who are no longer with you. It doesnt have to be morbid in anyway. Just make subtle references to your departed loved ones here and there, while keeping the mood joyful. If I come up with additional specific ideas, I'll post them here. 10 Jan 2007 01:15
Giovanna
Suggestion
I'm sorry for your loss. My suggestion, which I am doing to honor my grandfather, is where he would be seated during the ceremony place a basket of flowers with a card that says "This seat is reserved for the memory of Mr. ______" 23 Jan 2007 02:45
karen
Honoring deceased loved one at wedding
Oh Giovanna - Now THAT'S a nice idea. Thank you for suggesting that - I think I may have to steal that one. Thats probably the best suggestion I have every heard for honoring a deceased loved one at the wedding. Appreciate it. 23 Jan 2007 03:16
Giovanna
Honoring a Deceased loved one
No a problem, many people I have talk to love that idea. Its the best way to honor someone in your own little private but public way. 27 Jan 2007 04:03
wendy
memorial
I am having 3 candles placed near our unity candle (my mother passed in June of 2006 and 2 for his Grandma and Great Grandma) so we can light them before the ceremony. I am also having them personalized with their individual info on each one then after the wedding we are having people take them and place them at the cemetary. 01 Feb 2007 20:39
Wendi
Deceased Mother/ Grandparents
Hello all,

I am a bride going through my 2nd marriage ( 38 years old ). I want to do something UNIQUE but Special to remember my mother and Grandparents at our wedding. Does anyone have anything that would be UNIQUE?

Thanks,
Wendi
08 Feb 2007 00:35
eva
Remembering loved ones
hey wendi - Here's a nice idea... Instead of throwing your bouquet to the single gals at the wedding, have your bouquet placed on grandma's resting place after the wedding. If you want you can announce at the reception that you will do this in place of the bouquet toss, or you can just do it without making any mention about it.

Hope this helps!
08 Feb 2007 03:46
Wendi
Honoring a deceased love one
Hello Eva,

That is a great suggestion. However when my lil sister got married in her bridal boquet she had all white flowers except 2 lavendar roses and those were put there because of our mother and grandmother that are deceased and then after the wedding ceremony she and her new husband Craig went to the cemetery since it was in the same town and placed them at the graves of our mother and grandmother. That might be something that I do seeing as I have two grandparents that are deceased along with my mother. But keep the suggestions coming. I am looking for something different and unique.

Wendi
09 Feb 2007 16:39
stacie
honoring loved ones
at my wedding next year we're having a member of each side of the family walk down the aisle with forget-me-nots to be placed on each side of the alter for my grandpa and my fiance's dad 21 Feb 2007 16:46
ccollier
memory
at my wedding i had a item in my boqet from each person i had lost, a hankie, pin they wore, a cross a golf tee an ink pen, just something small that was theirs that most people did not even notice 25 Feb 2007 13:56
Andrea
Honoring deceased loved one at wedding
Hi we lost our 1 yr old daughter almost two years ago and its been devestating but we have stayed strong to each other and are getting married in a year (destination wedding) im trying to think of ways to incorperate her into the cermony. most of the other ideas are nice for older family members, any ideas? 03 May 2007 01:03
eva
Honoring a deceased loved one at a weddinge
Here's a really sweet idea that I saw somewhere here at SuperWeddings, but now I cant find the exact page. Anyway, you create a beautiful 'memory bouquet'. You take a flower pot and dress it up pretty. You can have some flowers or a plan in it, or you can just put some styrofoam in the pot. Then insert bambook skewers into the pot so they shoot up out of the pot in a natural formation. Now tape the backs of photos of your loved one onto the sticks, and then place the arrangment somewhere prominent. For example, you can have it at the alter for the ceremony, so you feel like your loved one is with you and is part of it, and you can also place the arrangement at the guest sign in table at the reception, or place it next to the wedding cake, or where ever you feel it makes sense. This is a beautiful way to make your loved one part of the celebration, and to keep their memory present.

Hope you like this idea - check through the pages here at superweddings if you want more details because I saw it here somewhere!

Eva
04 May 2007 17:42
ADMIN
...
You are not so clever 8.8.196.218 ... 10 May 2007 22:41
Kristy Kingery
honoring a loved one
Love the suggestion so far for all the honoring a loved one. Another great suggestion I came across on another website is the small photo frame to place the person you want to remember and attach to your bouquet. This is especially great for father's - makes you feel as if they are walking down the aisle with you (at least I hope it feels this way). I'm getting married in 4 months and lost my father 3 years ago although it seems like yesterday and plan to do this and also now add many of the other great ideas I found on this website.

I'm considering putting something on the programs possibly to that honors my father but haven't figure out exactly what to put yet.

The small photo frame to attach to the bouquest can be found on foreverwedstore.
10 May 2007 23:47
PROUD DAUGHTER
Bouquet Photo\'s
hello to all
I was married 9 months ago and I too did not have my father there to give me away so I know exactly what your going through in your thoughts and feelings. However I have also lost a brother, three nephews and a niece so on my wedding day because these are the angels i pray to and believe brought the love of my now husband into my life i had a love dedication ceremony thanking them for their love and guidence by bring us together and forming a love match made in heaven.

I had photo\'s of my love angels made into photo\'s slightly larger than a postage stamp an mounted on gold cardboard with the words ALWAYS WITH US under the photo and attached them with ivory and gold ribbon to my bouquet.

It was very special and precious to not only my self but all of my family and especially my mother.

Dad did walk me down the isle on my bouquet for all to see and admire.

If you want me to email photo\'s for idea please let me know and I shall.

Good luck on your special day and just know that your loved ones will be very close.

all my love and wishes
Vicki
13 May 2007 07:28
Cheryl
remembering loved ones on your bouquet.
I was wondering the website to view the photo frame that you attatched to your bouquet. I am getting married in August 2007 and my dad has been deceased since April 2005. It seems as if it was yesterday. I would like to add this idea to my special day. 03 Jul 2007 10:04
jillian
Honoring the deceased
I am in the midst of planning my april of '08 wedding. It too is very important that I include my late grandparents and dear friend "my other grandma" in our celebration. I have decided to have black and white pictures of them in their younger years and with myself at our reception with a lit candle near by with a little saying. I will also be baking my grandmother's cookies to have out for our guests along with copies of their recipes in penny candy type jars. I get choked up thinking about our big day without their smiling faces and I feel that baking a couple of days prior will help calm my nerves and make me remember happier times that I have spent with them. We are going to speak with our officiant in regards to saying a few words in their honor during the ceremony as well. I am a softy and figured the cookies are light-hearted and will even out the tear-jerker ceremony! hope this helps! 05 Jul 2007 23:27
Proud Daughter
remembering loved ones on my bouquet
Hi Cheryl

I do not have a website but I can email a photo to you or if you have a website to suggest where I can download a photo onto.
Everyone loved the idea and it was a big hit I have had two weddings in my family since mine and both have used my photo's.
Good luck on your very special day in August also the month I was married last year! FIRST ANNIVERSARY COMING UP!! WHAT A YEAR!!
Vicki-Lee
09 Jul 2007 07:16
Melanie
Honoring family lost
I lost my dad 5 years ago and to remember him at my wedding I am also having his photo in a frame tied into my bouquet. I am having his rothers and sisters stand in for him to give me away along with my mother. I am playing his favorite song and having everyone dance to it as the second song that they will play in place of the father daughter dance ( it is Meatloaf Paridise by the dash board light so I know it will be fun) I am also having an entire table set up just like all the others but covered in pictures of all the people that have died. I am including my soon to be husbands family and mine with a "Reserved for those who could not be with us today" sign. I hope this hels in planing your special day. 12 Jul 2007 15:55
Melanie
loved ones
The website for the memory bouquet frame is www.thefrontdoor.com they have a lot of great memory ideas including roes that you can have made up with pictures on them. 12 Jul 2007 15:58
Melissa
In Memory Ideas
I lost my father in December and I'm in the middle of planning my April 08' wedding. The thought of not having my father there to give me away and dance with is devastating... but I too am having a Memory Bouquet Frame (so he will be with me while I walk down the aisle) and for the second song I'm asking everyone to join my husband-to-be and I on the dance floor to dance to The Four Tops -I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch) because my dad used to sing it to me when I was little! It's a happy song and when the DJ announces it, I think it will lighten the mood while being able to mention my Dad at the same time.

Memory Bouquet Frame- $12
http://www.thefrontdoor.com/jeanmtest.cfm?iCatID=39025

Floating Memorial Candle/Vase- $30
http://www.cathysconcepts.com/products/detail.html?prod_id=44717&cat_id=163
12 Jul 2007 17:33
Tracy
Suggestion and Request for Help
My father passed away 16 years ago (I was only seven but extremely close with him). For my March 08 wedding ceremony I am having a single rose in the pew where he would sit, and a memory candle placed on the alter with his name on it.

My mother remarried 6 years ago (they dated for four years prior to their marraige). I am very close with my stepfather (but do not call him dad out of respect for my father). I am having my mother give me away, but plan on dancing with him for the father daughter dance. Any suggestions for a song. (my mother started dating him when I was a freshman in high school so he really wasn't there when i was a child 'growing up') Any ideas?
29 Jul 2007 02:51
Rebecca
lost loved ones
Unfortunately I have lost both of my parents as well as grandparents, a child , and my fiance lost his dad as a child, we are 33 and I have 2 boys from my previous marriage who will be walking me down the aisle as well as being part of the family circle ceremony we are planning on havin, but because we have lost so many loved ones in our life I found (Rexcraft) a memorial flower bud vase that just simply states in memory of those who are not with us today, but in our hearts forever with a single rose bud to be placed on our guest book table. 31 Jul 2007 01:23
K
Who will give me away
My father passed January this year, I am due to get married next november. I have no idea who to ask to give me away. I have an older brother (i will be 26 he will be 40). But is just slightly un-reliable and think after dinner speech will be hard for him.
I have my uncle, he has no girls as my aunt was medically un-able to carry them, she experienced 4 miscarridges the last would have been my age. Would be his only chance to do this at a wedding.
My godfather who is supposed to do his duty kinda thing.
Or an old family friend.
Am so confused and dont want to tread on anyones toes.
Any ideas would be greatful!
Thanks
22 Aug 2007 11:10
Melanie
honoring a loved one
K,

I had a hard time desiding who was going to walk me down the aisle too. My dad had 3 brother all of which I am very close in the end I choose to have my mom walk me down and my uncles stand up and answer for my father so there were no hard feeling. I think that you should go with whom ever you are close with and inclued the others in a special way.
07 Sep 2007 03:35
proud daughter
who will give me away
Hi K

My mother proudly walked me down the isle and gave me away.

my 6 brothers all said a combined speech on behalf of my father and mother (job normally done by father of bride)

my god father said a speech to my mother from all of her children that we all co wrote to add it together. We just put on paper a little memory or a special thanks to mum and dad from each of us and also we made her aware of our praise for her strength in dad's passing. Something that is not said but is nice to hear.

Mum was so happy because I made the day not just about my husband and I getting married but also about her and her love that she has so effortlessly shown to us over our lives.

Have a beautiful day and don't stress too much about the material things because it is over so quickly and the memories of actions last so much longer not just for you but your guests and loved ones too.

Vicki
07 Sep 2007 06:57
Judy Typhair
lost a brother in law in the iraq war
hello, Back in march of 2005 my brother in law was killed in iraq. He was my best friend in this world. I am having my wedding in my sisters back yard which would have been his back yard. does anyone have any unique ideas on how to honor a brave soldier in my wedding. I feel he needs to be there with me. He would have been so proud me and who i have chosen. thanks

Judy
09 Nov 2007 00:40
Nikki
Honoring daddy
My father passed away unexpectedly 2 months ago. I'm getting married in 8 months on my parent's anniversary. I am fortunate enough to have 2 older brothers who are also like dads, but no one can ever repleace my Daddy. I was going to have my brothers walk me halfway down the isle to my father, and have my brothers follow my daddy and I and stand behind him as he gave me away. I can't image what I'm going to do that day or how I'm going to be happy without him there at this point, but I'm hoping it gets easier. Anyway, I'm going to have my brothers still walk me halfway down the isle, and then I'm going to have them walk behind me the rest of the way and in the programs I will write that I'M STILL BEING WALKED DOWN THE ISLE BY MY DADDY (in a more elquent way of course).

I'm going to have his picture in my flowers, and a candle on the alter for him.

Whenever I would picture my wedding, the father daughter dance was always a huge part of the dream. I'm going to dance with my husband for our first dance, but when the time comes to have the father daughter dance, I'm going to have them play "I loved her first" my hearland and dance with my husband to that song.

Anyone, please let me know what you think about these ideas. Thank you!
12 Nov 2007 02:46
Brandi
Wording...
Hello all, me and my fiance will be honoring the memory of our grandparents via a statement on our programs. Both of his were married when they died and my paternal grandparents were as well so we are listing them as Mr. and Mrs. ____ ____. However, my grandmother on my Mom's side died when I was a baby and my grandfather remarried. He has since passed and I don't know how to word it for the both of them. So I list them seperately...i.e. Mrs. _________ ________ and Mr. _____ _____ or do I list them as Mr. and Mrs. since he only remarried due to her death? As a side note, the woman that he remarried is still living but is no longer a part of my life and will not be attending the wedding (nor was she invited). 27 Dec 2007 14:01
Marie
Honoring Loved Ones
There are some wonderful suggestions in here, ladies. I intend to incorporate some into my own wedding this coming July. My excellent father died at the age of 42 when I was twelve. I am now 49 years-old and marrying my best friend's older brother! I've known him for 35 years and never even knew he was interested in me until my husband (of twenty-five years) kicked-me-to-the-curb for another woman. You know the story...as if that wasn't enough, my wonderful 19 year-old son was killed a few months later. My heart was (is) broken. But God is good and sent Gregg to rescue me! Now, I want to honor my beloved dad and my cherished son! All ideas are appreciated. My other dilemna is this...I have seven brothers...all of whom not only participated in my upbringing, but who were by my side within an hour of my son's death. I wouldn't have made it without them! How can all seven brothers give me away? The church is very small. 17 Jan 2008 23:09
Donna
honoring those who have died at a weddng
we placed two roses at the alter in memory of Richards father and also my brother. during the cereomy we both took our rose and handed it to our parents and told them this is in honor of Jerry(my brother and Richard said to his mom this is in memory of dad. 23 Jan 2008 13:28
donna
honoring those who have died at a weddng
oh and we also printed it in the wedding programs what the flowers were for. so everyone even those in the back pews knew what we were doing up front. 23 Jan 2008 13:30
KinZim
Program wording for deceased relatives
I am trying to word my ceremony programs. My father passed away 10 years ago, to whom I was very close. Both my grandfathers and one grandmother as well as both of my FH's grandfathers, are no longer with us.

I want to include all of these loved ones in my program, but obviously want to signify/symbolize how important my dad was especially.

Any suggestions?
02 Apr 2008 08:28
Leigh-Ann
Honoring deceased loved ones at my wedding
I have read all of your suggestions, and they are all really great. My fiance lost his father about 10 years ago due to cancer, we lost a mutual friend on Oct. 20, 2007 due to a heart attack, I lost my grandmother Feb. 20, 2007, and my mother on Dec. 2, 2007 to lung cancer. I think I am going to frame a photo of each one of them, either a 5x7 or 8x10 size, I am going to inscript our wedding info on the molding (Leigh-Ann and Samer, May 16, 2009) and also put something like "You will always be with Us." and maybe put it at a table close to the door of the reception, or maybe the church as well, not sure. 02 May 2008 15:24
Dawn Fanning
Wedding Favor honoring deceased parent
I have found this great site that allows you to donate to The American Cancer Society and in return they give you a wedding favor with a beautiful tribute to the deceased. check out this website.

http://www.aicr.org/site/PageServer?pagename=how_weddings
09 May 2008 02:44
Debbie
Sorry for your loss
I am 48 and heading into my second marriage this December. I have found on a website memorial candles, and poem cards for those that were close to me and are now gone. I will put the candles with their names on it on heart shaped candle holders. I am going to place these on a separate table. I was wanting something to remember them at my wedding, and was so pleased to find these. 13 May 2008 17:26
Debbie
FOR MEMORIALS
http://www.mydreamwedding.ca 13 May 2008 17:27
Mimpop
Honoring our son at our daughter\\\\\\\'s
[Some parts of this message have been automatically truncated to conform to system message limits.] 205.188.116.138 ... My 31 year old daughter just announced her engagement. She will be married on the beach here on Vieques where my husband (her father) and I now live.

We lost our son in a car accident 8 years ago. We\\\\\\\'re so very happy for our daughter but I can\\\\\\\'t help feeling so sad that our son won\\\\\\\'t be here.

Since his death, I\\\\\\\'ve left his initials on every beach that we\\\\\\\'ve visited, on mountains tops and everywhere else we\\\\\\\'ve traveled.

Lighting a candle on the beach is difficult. I want to remember our son on the day of the ceremony. The wedding will be very small with only parents and a few friends in attendance. Would his initials on the sand be inappropriate? Maybe with a basket or spray of flowers? Any other suggestions?

Thanks so much for your help.
04 Aug 2008 02:23
LEAH
WISHING, PLANNING, HOPING
Hey everyone,

I lost my dad 3 years ago. I am getting married in Sept. I got the picture in the bouquet idea and I love it.

I am going to have my friend sing a song in his honor, and then maybe have everyone place a ribbon on in his honor. I am not sure thought...what do you think? or know where I can get "in memory of" ribbons? Kind of like the ones they have for the cancer society, etc.

What song does anyone suggest for the father/daughter dance. I liked the idea of dancing to something else with my future husband. I've always like the song..by luther vandross...dance with my father, but I don't want it to seem like too much. So I don't know.

My brother, the next best thing, will be walking me down the isle.
08 Aug 2008 03:47
Felicity
speach on behalf of a mother
My brother is getting married next month in Melbourne, ( we are from NZ) and me being the only girl of the family( and youngest) i feel it would be nice to say a few words on behalf of our mother whom passed away 18years ago. i\'m stuck on what to say even to start it. i don\'t want to be crying before i say my first word either. there won\'t be that many of our family there but most of the brides, which we haven\'t even met.
please any suggestions i would appreciate.
thanks
15 Sep 2008 06:31
J.J.
Honoring deceased loved ones
I was in a beautiful wedding last year in which the bride had lost her father only a few years before, and the groom lost his brother less than a year before. She was walked down the aisle by her brothers, and given away by her mother. During the father daugther dance, she danced with her mother, and then with each of her 2 brothers.

The groom's sister, other brother, niece, nephew, and brother in law where all in the wedding party. To include the parted family members, a chair was placed on the stage near the alter, with a vase with two roses in it. The vase was etched with the names of her father and his brother. Later, during the reception, this vase was placed at the head table with the rest of the wedding party.

The pastor said a brief word to honor the two. It was touching, not at all morbid, and there was not a dry eye in the chapel!
18 Oct 2008 05:27
amatoevents
Candles
During a wedding that I planned, the grandmother walked a candle up the aisle and placed the candle on the alter, lit the candle and allowed it to remain lit for the whole ceremony, then removed the candle at the end of the ceremony and placed it on a special table at the reception hall alongside a picture of the individual. The candle had \"In memory of ___(enter name)\" The candle represented the groom\'s grandfather. It was a nice way to include that family member\'s memory in the festivities. I am truly sorry for your loss. I hope this helps. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me at

Melissa Amato
Melissa Amato Events
03 Nov 2008 04:37
kanga
what should i do
my best friend was supposed to be in my wedding next year. she was killed recently in a car accident and i can't seem to get over it. i miss her so much and i want to do something for her for my wedding. i know she'll be there with me in heart and spirit. im searching for something to do but all i read about is honoring a family member at a wedding. any suggestions? 07 May 2010 17:04
Airylotus
Congras
I don't really have any experience before ! SO good luck to u 11 May 2010 07:10
airylotus
About lose weight and wedding dress
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12 May 2010 06:30
Penny
When your friend can't be there
Hi Kanga,

Sorry to hear about your best friend - you will miss her a great deal during the preparation for your wedding.
I know that many of the suggestions here are about finding a way to remind the guests at your wedding of how special someone was to you. I wonder if you can do this by thinking about what would make your friend pleased if she was here to witness it. I am especially wondering if there is someone special in her life who is grieving and who might find it healing to take her place in your wedding in some way - for example it might make a difference to her mother to make a special contribution to your wedding, or does she have a sister who could stand in for her on the day? Not only would this honour your friend and provide a chance for you and others to heal together, it would be a powerful reminder to everyone involved in your wedding that she is missing.
Given the stress of planning a wedding you will need to be wise in how you approach this, but you may find it is a helpful idea.
15 May 2010 09:57
airylotus
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13 Jun 2010 09:11
Mahnoor
Hello
I'm going to have his picture in my flowers, and a candle on the alter for him.

Whenever I would picture my wedding, the father daughter dance was always a huge part of the dream. I'm going to dance with my husband for our first dance, but when the time comes to have the father daughter dance, I'm going to have them play "I loved her first" my hearland and dance with my husband to that song.

http://www.pakjewelry.net
30 Jun 2010 09:16
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