Home Wedding and Reception

Q: I am getting married and plan to have a small personal wedding with just immediate family. I also would like it to follow with a open house style reception. Do you have any advice on decorating, role of bride and groom (greeting guests etc.) and food? We are dressing formally and are planning the wedding on a strict budget, yet want things to be perfect! Thanks.

A:

A reception in the home is becoming very fashionable once again, and allows you to create a very elegant, intimate atmosphere without having to spend a great deal of money.

Fortunately, for a home wedding, you are usually not dealing with a very large area, such as a ballroom, so when it comes to decorating, a little goes a long way! I wouldn't overdo it... Think classic, simple elegance. This is what truly works best in the home setting, as opposed to having balloons and twinkle lights everywhere! A few strategically placed vases of either fresh or silk flowers will lend themselves well to the atmosphere of elegance. No need to worry about sophisticated and expensive floral arrangements, simple vases of roses, tulips or daffodils (in the spring) make for a classic look and require no professional help.

I would recommend that you also make good use of candles. Again,this is a marvelous way to create an elegant, intimate atmosphere while keeping it simple and understated - and of course highly affordable! My recommendation would be to stay with taper candles, votive candles, pillar candles, or any combination of the above. Again, this will help to keep the look very classic, and to keep you within budget. Just be careful to the plan the placement of the candles with an eye towards safety - set them in spots where they are not likely to be knocked over by mingling guests.

For food, you have a nice variety of options with this style of wedding. You may, if you choose, serve only cake and champagne. A wine and cheese reception is another option, although you will probably still want to have a small wedding cake, for tradition's sake. Perhaps you will prefer a dessert reception in which an assortment of pastries and dainties are served, along with punch, coffee, tea, and wine for toasting. Yet another suitable option is the cocktail and hors d'oeuvre reception - here you can serve items such as sausage rolls, chicken wings, assorted canapes and any of your other favorite hors d'oeuvre items.

If the reception will take place in the afternoon, a tea may be appropriate for celebration; food might include tea sandwiches, dainties, a fruit and vegetable platter, and cheese tray.

Lastly, you could choose a stand-up reception. Here the food would be slightly more substantial, yet not quite a sit down dinner. Food is presented on a large table, or on a series of smaller tables or "food stations", and guests may help themselves. Typically guests stand or mingle while nibbling, hence the name "stand up reception". Assorted items such as chicken fingers, lasagna, Thai noodles, ribs, rolls, one or more salads (potato salad, bean salad, pasta salad, Caesar, or garden salad) and other similar fare would be available for guests to help themselves to.

The wonderful thing about all of the above mentioned reception types is that each is very elegant in its own way, and very simple to put together without the aid of professional assistance. Food may be prepared in advance by yourself or friends and relatives, or it may be purchased pre-made from the grocery store (this may be where a discount shopping club membership comes in handy!), but no real need exists to hire a caterer.

Regardless of which style of the above receptions you choose however, you will probably want to provide wedding cake for tradition's sake (this can be an inexpensive 'slab' cake, it need not be tiered), wine or champagne for toasting, as well as coffee and/or tea.

A receiving line is not typical at the home wedding reception, however the newly married couple should stand at the door to greet guests as they arrive. Parents may join them there, if desired. Once the reception is underway the couple makes the rounds, mingling with guests. It is common to have the traditional cake cutting after the food you have chosen to serve has been enjoyed. This is also when the toasts and any speeches should take place. If desired, plan the traditional bouquet toss just before the reception is scheduled to wind down, or if preferred, you may eliminate this tradition all together.

There you have it! This should get you well on you way to planning it to perfection!

Marrying in a Foreign Country

Q: We are trying to plan a wedding in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. How do we plan for this, what are the laws, does the marriage transfer to the states. We need lots of help! We don't know where to start.

A:

Marrying in a foreign country is becoming extremely popular, if not even fashionable! Couples are planning 'destination weddings' in exotic locations where they exchange vows either privately, with only the two of them present - or sometimes with a small group of their closest friends and family members who have traveled to be in attendance and share in this special occasion.

You will need to determine the legal requirements for your wedding in Mexico and find out what type of documentation you will need to provide by contacting the Mexican embassy or consulate.

To give you an idea, to marry in most foreign countries, the following documentation is generally required: a birth certificate, passport, and a divorce certificate if you are divorced (or a death certificate if you are widowed).

When marrying in a foreign country, there is usually a specific waiting period involved between the time you arrive in the country and the time you become eligible to marry there. Again the consulate will advise you if such a waiting period is mandated in Mexico. Typically these periods are anywhere from 24 hours to as many as seven days.

A travel agent is also likely to be able to assist you with making these arrangements. Call an agent in your local area, let her/him know of your Mexican wedding plans, and ask if they are able to help.

Have a wonderful trip and a fabulous wedding day! Sounds like it will be pure paradise. Very romantic!