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How
Do We Tell Guests To Pay Their Own Way?
Q: My
husband and I will be renewing our wedding vows for our 20th
anniversary on the beach at sunset on Waikiki. It will be Hawaiian
casual attire (Hawaiian shirts and sarongs). Hopefully, some of our
friends who live on the island will attend. We would like to go out
to dinner after the renewal of our vows with our friends, but are not
having a reception. Everyone will order off the menu and pay for
their own dinner.
The
question is, how do you tell people that will be the case? I will
probably hand-write invitations after we arrive on the island and set
up the details. I'll need to include the dinner details in the
invitation. Your help with wording would be appreciated. Thank you.
MaryAnn
A: First,
congratulations on your upcoming 20th anniversary! Now on to your
question. This is a tricky situation; it is hard for me to advise you
on the proper etiquette for handling this issue in terms of wording
the invitations since having guests pay their own way at an event
such as this would not be considered socially correct in the first
place. If a group of your friends were to invite you out to celebrate
your anniversary, they would be expected to pay, not just for
themselves, but for your portion as well. However, when you are
inviting guests to celebrate your anniversary with you, typically the
expectation is that you intend to host the celebration.
I'm afraid that
there is simply no wording suggestion I can offer for the invitations
which will conform to the standards of proper etiquette or social
correctness. The best way to handle the matter would be to issue the
invitations to dinner in a less formal manner, by word of mouth, in
the weeks preceding the occasion. When you do this you can make the
circumstances clear. You may say something along the lines of,
"John and I will be going out for dinner following our renewal
of vows. We'd love it if you and some of our other friends would join
us, although I'm afraid we do not have it in our budget to pick up
the tab for those who will be joining us".
This is a polite
way of clearly communicating the circumstances of your invitation,
and in this day and age you can 'get away' with this form of
invitation. However, as stated previously, to extend invitations to a
celebration in honor of such an occasion, expecting guests to pay
their own way, is not a practice which would be deemed 'socially correct'
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Addressing
Envelopes
When Inviting Children
Q:
I
wish to invite children to my wedding and reception, how do I
address the envelope to include the children? Lisa L.
A:
If you will be
using both inner and outer envelopes, the outer envelope should be
addressed to the parent's names only. The inner envelope, however,
should contain the parents names AS WELL as the children's names,
which, incidentally, should be written on a separate line just
beneath the parent's names.
The inner envelope
would look like this:
Mr. and Mrs.
John and Mary Jones
Betsy and Bobby
If Mr. and Mrs
Jones happen to be close personal acquaintances of yours, or family
members, you may address the inner envelope slightly more informally:
John and Mary
Betsy and Bobby
OR, in the case of
family members:
Uncle John and
Aunt Mary
Betsy and Bobby
The outer
envelope, however, is always written in the utmost of formality; the
wife's first name is not referred to, and the children's names are
not listed. It should look like this:
Mr. and Mrs.
John Jones
If you are not
using a set of double envelopes, preferring outer envelopes only,
then the parent's names are referred to as in the example directly
above, however, the children's first names should be listed, on a
separate line:
Mr. and Mrs.
John Jones
Betsy and Bobby
123 Green Street
Denver, Colorado
12345
Note also that
"street", "avenue", etc. should be spelled out in
full, not abbreviated. In accordance with etiquette, the same holds
true for the city and state or province names. However, because the
postal service in both the US and Canada prefers a two letter
abbreviation for state names on all mail, the 'etiquette enforcers'
WILL now allow you to abbreviate if you prefer - however, for the
utmost in formality and social correctness, stay with the non
abbreviated versions. Not to worry, the postal service will let it through!
The very best to you,
Linda Kevich
Professional
Wedding Consultant
Editor, SuperWeddings.com
Reception Decorating
Q:
We
are doing all the decorating for the reception ourselves and things
are going pretty smoothly, EXCEPT: There are 3 brass chandeliers. We
would like to decorate them with greenery and fresh flowers. Any
suggestions as to how to do that?
Jayne W.
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A: I
would recommend using ivy garland and perhaps dried roses - or as a
more affordable alternative, silk roses which look like dried roses.
This will create a very romantic and extremely elegant look. Ivy
garland is usually sold in 9' lengths and is super simple to work
with - just drape or wind it around the chandelier. What makes ivy
all the more perfect is the fact that it is the symbol for fidelity,
and is therefore highly meaningful when used in wedding decor. You
might want to pre-attach the roses to the garland with a little dab
of hot glue before adorning the chandeliers. |
Linda
Kevich is the creator and editor of SuperWeddings.com. She has been a
professional wedding consultant for the past ten years, and now
teaches the business of wedding consulting through a home
study program she has developed. Have a
wedding question? Click here to ask the expert!
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|
|
Linda Kevich is the creator and
editor of SuperWeddings.com. She has been a professional wedding
consultant for the past ten years, and now teaches the business of
wedding consulting through a home
study program she developed and
administers. Have a wedding question?
Click here
to ask the expert!
|
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